Nurture Lost

Death is an amazing thing. It elicits so many different feelings and reactions. Hearing of the passing of someone we are not close to, may bring about feelings of sadness and sympathy for the surviving family. When death claims a life that we are touched by, the emotions run deep and the reactions can be unpredictable. It also provides lessons for all of those who witness it. The lesson I learned from it, last week, was that sometimes the unfortunate grip of nature can never be released by even the most concerted nurturing.

The Prescott family lost a person who Daniel and his brothers had been rather close to. He was a childhood friend and although he led a troubled existence, the boys knew that it was not all his choosing. This person loved to be around the Prescott family, as most people do, because they are very welcoming to anyone and function normally, which is rare these days. As they got older, the boys parted ways with this person because he was headed down a dangerous path of drug use and crime. Daniel has told many stories that involved this person, so I know that his friend's tragic death must have affected him, even though he will not talk about it.

Daniel and I are very different in how we deal with our pain. I must purge myself of my emotions, or they eat me alive. Daniel bottles his up and sticks it on a shelf because it is what he is comfortable doing. I always tell him that his method is going to lead to high blood pressure, but he never listens, stubborn ass. Our stubborn nature often leads to these discussions where we try our damndest to change the other's view, but it never happens. I know that he will never allow himself the freedom of emptying out his emotional dumpster. That thing has to be huge! We also argue the nature versus nurture theory. The loss of his friend, proved a perfect example of how one can over power the other.

His friend was adopted by a minister and I'm sure that he and his wife did everything they could to steer their son in the right direction, but some things are just innate. The difference between the Prescott kids and their deceased friend, is that they had a good biological start. They have two parents who conceived children out of love, never battled drug addictions and provided a stable and disciplined environment for their family. Their friend did not have the same beginning. Even though his adopted parents tried the best that they could to help their troubled son, it was fruitless. They told people at the funeral, that at least they had the knowledge that their son was finally at peace. It was something that he never experienced during his time on earth. It just goes to show that nature versus nurture is such a load of crap. In the end, both contribute to the outcome of a human being. Unfortunately, nature was just stronger and no amount of nurture could change their friend. May his rest bring peace to the family who chose him for their own and dedicated their hearts and lives to loving him.